Two strangers, both attractive and young, approaching one another on the summer streets of Memphis. The man smiles, catching the brief eye contact, and speaks.”Hey, ma…”
“Ma? I am not your mother, ‘pa’,” The woman replied. “What makes you think you can attract a woman with that kind of disrespect?”
The woman stops to await a response. The man stops as well.
“I didn’t mean to disrespect you,” he replied. ” I’m new here and that’s a common greeting where I’m from…”
“You’re here now.” The woman responded, visibly irritated by the man’s response. She looked him over quickly, assessing him.
“So I see,” The man snickered. He looked the woman over at length and smiled. “I should also point out that I was not trying to ‘attract’ you. I was just being polite.”
The woman laughs, shifting her weight to one hip and placing a hand on the other.
“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on! I totally shut down your whack little pick up line and now you’re trying to save face by saying you were just ‘being polite’.”
“Wow. Really? All this when I was trying to say hello…”
“Sure you were…”
“…I mean, what if I have a wife? Or a girlfriend? Why would you assume I’m trying to ‘get with you’?”
“And?!” The woman’s face contorted involuntarily. “Guy’s meet women that they cheat on their wives and girlfriends with all of the time!”
“And you know this how exactly?” The man smirked. “Then again, judging by those old shoes, you certainly are not anyone’s mistress or wife!”
“You’re gay.” The woman sighed in relief. “I understand now. You really were just being nice to me. I’m sorry…”
“I’m not gay!”
The woman laughs hysterically a moment. The man stands fuming.
“So, just because you’re not my type of female I am now a gay male?!”
“No,” the woman began, wiping away a tear. “You’re waaaay to concerned with my shoes…”
“Who are you shouting at?!”
“I’m not shouting at you, you crazy woman!”
“Okay,” she rolls her eyes.”Look, I don’t go for being screamed at. Adjust your tone, please.”
“This is nuts! You’re nuts! I’m outta here!”
The man proceeds to walk away. The woman turns, falling to her knees and crying.
“Come back! Don’t you want my phone number?!”
The man takes off running at a brisk pace. The woman stands, opening her purse. She pulls out her mobile phone and places it to her ear.
“Did you get all of that?”
The voice on the other end responds.
“Not quite. There was this really cool duck and I filmed it for my YouTube channel instead.”
Silence. The woman’s jaw drops.
“Umm…d’you think you can do it again? You know….with another guy? We really need this footage for this week’s episode of ‘Pick Up Let Downs’.”
The phone sits on the sidewalk in the mid day sun as the woman walks away from it.