The Single’s Conundrum

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Courtesy of http://www.wikihow.com

In the world of dating and relationships, I’ve been told that I can be difficult to get to know. Yet I am often said to be easy to get along with. One moment, she may say that I’m secretive and the very next complain on my lack of subtlety in our affairs. I’ve been called a dead set liar and a sincere, honest individual in the very same breath!
The truth of the matter is I am all of those things to a degree, and what I’ve discovered about myself and most of the people who share my position in dating is that we can be difficult to love.
There, I said it.
You see, we’re not monsters or undatable men and women who are divas or the depressed. We are neither sad nor lonely when we are alone, and in most cases we are adequate in our own presence. We’ve just been single for soooo long that we simply lack certain empathies!
The trouble for someone interested in such a person is that they are presented the rather hefty task of unfairly having to prove to us that they are worth more than our time spent alone.
We’ve become so self-reliant and independent that now our suitor has to do or be something extraordinary to not only capture but keep our attention.
And relationship.
It’s not fair that a person should have to put on some grand spectacle to be with someone. Neither is it fair that we, the too-long-alone crew should remain alone when we deserve to share our lives with awesome people as well.
The solution is a clear one if you look at it purely from the standpoint of two individuals who want to be with one another:
Hard work.
Commitment.
Compromise.
Understanding.

The EXACT same things it would take for any relationship to be successful.
A sense of self and awareness and a balance between what new and exciting things that special someone may offer and what you’re willing to receive.
Who knows? Perhaps at the end of it all, both parties will discover that you were both well worth each others time all along.

24 thoughts on “The Single’s Conundrum

  1. That’s was an interesting read. Honest, in my opinion. I did enjoy the words suggesting the other someone had to prove their self to you for love, but I can also see the selfishness in a person who believes he or she are such the loner or have been alone for so long they need someone to show them their worth. I feel before falling in love or truly being in love you must know your own worth and already be open.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, the selfishness is very much the point as some have been alone for so long that they’ve forgotten how to properly integrate another’s feelings into their life. And you’re absolutely right. To fall in love, one must be open to changing as much as knowing who they already are in my opinion.

      Like

  2. Good solid advice in my experience. Dating and being single is difficult no matter how you look at it. People are complicated creatures and there’s always that outer shell to get past. Most people don’t take the time to get past it, or even think about it at all…

    Meno

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. So many of us seem content to know the ‘surface’ of another that when the deeper layers present themselves, they believe that the individual has ‘changed’. Not so. The proper time was not taken in the beginning to understand them fully. That’s been my experience, at least….

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Couldn’t have said it better myself..!

    Just started a new blog addressing the same sort of stuff. Maybe we can help each other out..! Male and female perspective’s and all that! 😉 x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You know what you hit the nail right on the head right there! Relationships are hard. Unfortunately for me it did not work out, as much as I wanted it to work. I think the missing Ingredient in mines was “Understanding”. I put so much of it even in hard situations, i wish she did the same. Love your posting my man! Wish I would have came across it before.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chinox12002, I have totally been there! Thanks for the response, btw. I know how you feel, actually. Sometimes, no matter how much we want it to work out for our own reasons, it just can’t function as a one-sided affair. I’ve lived that scenario to death. Do you, my friend. Be the you that you enjoy and the right people will find their way into your life.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Most def. my friend! I take your words highly! Glad you understand. The weird part of my relationship was that both of us wanted it (at least I did, and according to her). Again the lack of “Understanding”, like you said.

        Liked by 1 person

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