No Catfish PLEASE! – STILL Plenty Of Fish for you

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POF is a fine website...I'm just an old fashioned guy.

It all began innocently enough, I suppose…
I was going to write a story about the dangers of online dating in today’s society. I’ve dabbled in the online thing a bit in the past, (boredom + loneliness = numerous sign ups and free trials a few years back, sadly).
One terrible habit I developed was as I got bored with the apps in question, I would simply delete them from my phone…as opposed to actually deleting my profile from the websites!
Smh…I’ll get back to that…
Ok, so instead of merely researching the topic as I should have, I decided to try out one of the websites I frequented many years ago called POF – or “Plenty Of Fish” – as it had a very user friendly and simple interface I recalled.
I wished to mingle, not to linger.
What I expected was to be fast tracked through the system and quickly reinserted into the POF culture so as I could gather the information I wanted quickly for my would-be epic tale…
What I got, however, was a completely fresh start attached to my email (I suppose there was a website I deleted my profile on after all! Told you i’d get back to that).
Once I finally had completed the rather lengthy questionnaire and intrusive biography, I was ushered to a page that was far more ‘face’ than ‘Facebook’ could ever dream to be!
Row upon row of smiles or pucker-lipped ladies searching for ‘Mr. Right’! No real information. Just a face and the approximate distance the face was from my location. All exactly as I remembered, of course, and splendidly easy to use.
But then I noticed one.
Then another.
Then another.
I could hardly believe my own eyes.
These were the same faces I remembered from all of those years ago! The same fish searching the same pond.
The exact SAME people who were out there searching for people when I was searching for people!
I was fascinated and intrigued and even frightened to see these faces, some a bit older, others EXACTLY the same. It was like a strange homecoming in a way, and I found myself questioning what made me leave such websites behind as well as ask the burning question of what compels so many to stay?
Naturally, I allowed my curiosity to guide me further into the site and ask random faces (and a few old favorites) what keeps them searching when apparently there has been little to no head way in their relationship goals on here.
The answers varied.
Some contend that they are just looking for friends, that they do not have time to pursue traditional dating methods.
I get that.
In this day and age, with our extra busy lives, it’s easy to lose that human face-to-face touch our ancestors enjoyed. Everything now moves at such a pace as if we chance even to blink, we may miss something…even true love.
The greater number who responded, however, were NOT of this opinion.
Many were seeking financial compensation in exchange for time spent with individuals. Some others were simply seeking “hookups” with no strings attached.

And then, I remembered.

That’s why I left these things alone. I don’t dance. I refused to simply change partners so frequently and easily.
For all of my shyness and introversion, I prefer meeting traditionally. I enjoy the rush I get of seeing a beautiful stranger across the room and making eye contact. I enjoy getting to know someone WITHOUT a ‘cheat sheet’.
While safety is a great concern in our time, i still contend this method works best for me. I’m certainly not knocking the online culture, but I know where my preferences are and I truly see no advantage in the online method.
I enjoy people.
A smile in ‘real time’ is even more special nowadays as it’s more difficult to achieve with a face-to-face interest. And while it seems we cannot stop the inevitable swing of our society from analog conversation to digital gf/bf/bff emoji banter, perhaps we can retain some form off sincerity and courage to just be ourselves…
…at least long enough to be seen by the ‘real’ fish on the other side of the pond.

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13 thoughts on “No Catfish PLEASE! – STILL Plenty Of Fish for you

  1. It has been a very long time since I did any online dating and I never tried POF, but it’s interesting to see that it is still as soulless and scary as I remember! Don’t get me wrong, I know it is a great tool for many, many people. I just prefer the old fashioned method ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. I agree. I have been single for about 5.5 years, as much to do with my introversion as to do with the fact (in my opinion) that I’m not a woman to put all the fuss in my muss. Meaning, I don’t wear makeup, put my hair down, and dress coquettishly every day. 5 days a week I’m out the door in slacks, a nice shirt, hair in a bun, no makeup, and hipster square eye-glasses on. Not exactly attention grabbing.

    Here’s the thing though, I don’t want a man to be attracted to the bells and whistles, I want a man to be attracted to ME.

    That being said, I recently decided to give Match . com a whirl for a month. Pretty disappointing, pretty much the same experience every time I get a wild hair up my rear and decide to try one of these online dating sites – I might get a couple people that talk to me. Either they’re strange, just looking for a hookup (no thanks), or they disappear after a a week or so – and then the rest of my experience is largely silent.

    I too, would prefer to meet someone in person and get to know them the good ol’ fashioned way, problem is – I spend my life at work and at home. I only venture out from time to time wrapped in the safety of a pack of my friends – so, not really opportunity to meet anyone!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This sounds so like myself, it’s scary! Completely understandable that you’d try these things of course given your schedule. It kinda stinks that people can’t really meet the way we used to anymore. There’s trust issues. Safety concerns. Or just difficulties meeting up with quality individuals period. I can offer no true solution, but I would offer a cup of coffee and conversation. It leads to many things, not least of all friendship. It’s a good starting point for me.

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      1. See! I think that’s a great way to get to know someone as well – Relaxed, lounging about somewhere with a great atmosphere, and my favorite beverage (coffee lol). I think another thing that deters me from making more of an effort on these dating websites is that the profiles I come across are all pretty much like:

        “I work out 53 times a week, and when I’m not working out or at work I like to go hiking, camping, fishing, swimming at the beach, and Crossfit all at the same time. I’m looking for a woman who loves god, loves life, and can do all of these things with me 24/7 YEAH WEEE-OOOO”

        And then here I am feeling like I could in no way live up to any of those expectations, wants, or even that lifestyle. I’m still trying to convince myself to get into the habit of working out and losing weight, let alone trying to conquer the world one Tire flip at a time lol.

        Reality though? I’m secretly glad these online dating sites never pan out, I’d be TERRIFIED to go out and meet up with some stranger. Especially after being single for sooooo long and knowing the intention is to possibly make a connection. I think it’s too much pressure for me.

        I’m like a cat stuck in a tree. I want to come down off my lonely branch, into a relationship and into love. But I’m scared as all get out and if you come at me too fast I’m just going to take a swipe, hiss, and retreat further up the tree lol

        Anyway.. Here I go babbling… again ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Totally understand! I sometimes wish I could shut myself down like that, but I’m fatally optimistic and a hopeless romantic. My feelings seek out the good in others and are crushed when I discover I’m wrong about them! Still, I’d rather “love and lose” than be alone in the end without at least seeing what I could be with that person.

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  3. I think you touch on so many truisms. It is hard for people to meet someone these days the way society has changed. Let me give hope to a romantic like you. My older girl actually met her fiance online…she’d had enough of meeting people face to face. The thing is they had been a very brief item when they were 18, when he didn’t arrange to see her again–he was a good looking guy with plenty ‘fish’ chasing him. But they never quite lost touch and the funny thing was I always knew she would end up with him. She used to go titz at me when I said so. So eleven years later he’s ‘grown up’ she’d been through a string of failed relationships and they bump into each other at online dating. After a string of disasters there, he eventually ses to her, I don’t suppose you would go out with me for a joke. She says, is this you finally asking me out? They are getting married in October and they are so good together. So have hope. I wish a romantic like you that special person x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! That is an amazing story! And thank you. I know that special someone is out there that I want to spend time on will show her face someday. I thank you for the vote of confidence๐Ÿ˜‰

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